OPINION: Excusing Pussy Grabbing, Pedophilia, And Russian Collusion Are Patriotic As Long As Tax Cuts Are At Stake

Voters all over the country understand one thing — America’s moral compass is set and fine-tuned by the Republican Party. We are the moral party. We are the ethical party. And even when we are not acting morally or ethically sound, we are still right.

Why? Because “tax cuts,” that’s why.

Allow me to explain further.

If there is one deep, abiding principle that guides all Republicans, it’s our steadfast belief in the notion that tax cuts create jobs. So many jobs, in fact, that you almost want the economy to crash because you don’t think the economy can truly handle how well it’s doing. Some could argue that’s why it might look like we Republicans keep fouling up the economy, but in fact are doing the right, and noble thing and fouling it up on purpose. It certainly cannot and should not be said that we believe in a mythology commonly known as Trickle Down Economics and that reality has proven it to be a self-evident fallacy.

Why? Because “free market,” that’s why.

Allow me to dive deeper.

In order secure these Almighty Blessed Tax Cuts, Republicans know that it is, at times, necessary and right to not re-calibrate our moral compass, but simply to hide it under a mountain of toxic lies and extremely simplified, often times context-free equivocations. For instance, sexually preying upon young pubescent girls in your thirties is generally frowned upon by rational people on all sides of the political spectrum. But, if crucial Republican votes are needed to get some tax cuts through to the president’s desk — we’ll defend the sexual predation of teenage girls with the Holy Bible of all things.

Why? Because “taxes are theft,” that’s why.

Allow me to expound.

The Republican Party has courted the Religious Right for decades, since the Nixon campaigns of ’68 and ’72. For generations, we, the Grand Old Party, have preached from the pulpit not just of things Biblical, but of political. We have intentionally broken down and discarded the paradigm of the separation of Church and State for over 50 years and now many of our rank and file members actually believe the Founding Fathers were devout evangelicals that would not only tolerate, but support things like making the Bible a state’s official book. The original intent of nearly every single Constitutional amendment has been perverted and/or subverted by people ironically preaching a strict adherence to the Framers’ original intent.

Why? Because “Don’t tread on me,” that’s why.

Allow me to go there, girlfriend.

If you were to ask presidents that range in ideological makeup from George Washington to Andrew Jackson to Jimmy Carter — all of them —  they’d tell you that even thinking of colluding with a foreign adversary during your campaign is one of the bone-stupidest things once can endeavor to do. All of them — Saint Ronald Reagan, Dwight D. Eisenhower, or Harry Truman — would universally tell you what a threat to our republic’s stability that could pose. And the Republican Party has long held itself in high regard for being courageous enough to stand up to all our foes, all across the globe. But with Donald Trump — eh, you know…Whatever.

Why? Because “Stealing Supreme Court seats from black presidents is the literal definition of patriotism, LIBTARD,” that’s why.

Allow me a bit more focus on this subject.

If you would have asked any random Republican in 1980 if they’d ever vote for a guy crass enough to be caught on tape bragging about grabbing women by their genitals, the women would spit on your shoes and the men would punch you right in your dirty mouth. If you told them he wouldn’t say “genitals” but instead “pussy,” you might end up dead in a lawful expression of their Second Amendment rights. But in 2016, when we were all terrified about four more years of a Democrat in the White House, much less confirmed serial killing invalid and decrepit old literal witch, Hillary Clinton — Meh.

Why? Because, “Nothing has to make sense, Billy,” that’s why.

By now, I’m sure you get it. Allow me to summarize, because they pay me by the word.

What good are our principles if they aren’t valuable enough to sell on the open market to secure regressive, discriminatory, or theocratic victories that are often times Pyrrhic anyway? It’s completely acceptable that we trade in our moral purity and high ground cheap victories that we think are moral, but are ultimately chided, mocked, and scorned in future generations when progressives inevitably throw off yolks of societal oppression.

Why? Because as it turns out, money is worth more to us than integrity.

God Bless America!




Editor’s Note: This editorial was written by syndicated conservative radio host, Joe Josephson. It contains the opinions of only Mr. Josephson and not necessarily those of this publication, its staff, or its sponsors.


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