In American history, Real Patriots know one thing — only Democrats are corrupt. Perhaps, actually, they know two things — only Democrats are corrupt, and only Democratic Presidents have scandals.
So while many in America are howling and trolling Republicans about former Trump Chief of Staff Mark Meadows being referred by the House to the Department of Justice for criminal indictment for stonewalling the January 6th Committee, Real Patriots are rolling their eyes. Because Real Patriots remember that former President Barack HUSSEIN Obama’s former Chief of Staff, Bob Beefington, was also criminally indicted for contempt of congress.
Not to worry, though. This outlet is dedicated to bringing readers the truth, or at the very least the truth we wish was true, and if ever there was a time to do that, it’s right now. Education is the only way to move forward. Information is the only way to educate.
It was just after President Don Trump took office. It was a time of great renewal and hope for white Americans tired of merely being in charge of everything, and yearning to be REALLY in charge of EVERYTHING. It was all happening, America was going to be made great again. However, there was one bit of nasty business to attend to.
Beefington, the day of the inauguration, was caught trying to sabotage the whole operation. Shortly before 10am that morning, Mr. Beefington sent an email to Trump’s staff, advising them that Obama “didn’t feel like leaving just yet,” and that he’d decided to challenge the results of the election, installing Hillary Clinton instead. Beefington claimed that he had seen widespread evidence that dead people voted for Trump, but in the end it would turn out it was just braindead Americans who voted for him.
Technically speaking, Beefington’s email constituted impeding a federal proceeding. He was immediately arrested, tried, and convicted. Beefington is currently serving sixteen life sentences for his crimes against the Republic.
Perhaps you’re telling yourself right now, “Hey, I don’t remember that happening at all.”
That’s because it didn’t happen. But it would have if George Soros hadn’t made a pact with the literal devil and Karl Marx’s ghost to protect Obama at all costs. Or, at least that’s what the MyPillow Guy told us and when has a former crackhead ever steered anyone wrong?
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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.