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Midterm Voters Anxious to Take First Steps Toward Ending State of National Emergy

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The results of a new poll we conducted with the help of We Poll You So Hard, one of the nation's leading public polling companies, seem...

Disneyland Worker Sleeping In Car Proud Of Her Employer’s Moral Stance Against James Gunn’s...

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ANASLIME, CALIFORNIA -- It's a world of hopes of laughter, a world of fears, a world of hope, and a world of fears, but...

Barack Obama: “I Bet That Punk Ass Beta Cuck Male Stephen Miller Can’t Hold...

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, NBC News reported that White House Senior Policy Adviser, and Transylvania's most eligible but least desirable bachelor, Stephen Miller,...

Brett Kavanaugh Turns In List of Civil Rights He Doesn’t Acknowledge to Mitch McConnell

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- D.C. appeals judge Brett Kavanaugh was formally introduced as President Trump's pick to replace outgoing Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy this...

Historians Find Hitler’s Receipt From Post-Kristallnacht Brunch At Carnegie Deli

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BERLIN, GERMANY -- Historians from the Institute of German History and All Things German-Ish have announced a new discovery they say may shed some...

Mike Pence Pretty Sure He Could Kill His Boss And Then Pardon Himself For...

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Speaking before a prayer breakfast gathering in the nation's capital this week, Vice President Mike Pence seemed to imply that he...

Kelly Sadler and Roseanne Barr Launch “Klassic Konfederate Komedy Tour”

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RICHMOND, VIRGINIA -- Today, comedians Kelly Sadler and Roseanne Barr held a press conference in the Confederate Nation's capital, announcing they'd be taking their...

Historians Uncover Robert E. Lee’s Ambien Prescription

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ARLINGTON, VIRGINIA -- Historians cleaning out an upstairs hall closet at the former residence of Confederate General Robert E. Lee at Arlington National Cemetery...

NRA Spokesman: “A Few Dozen Dead School Kids Is A Literally Small Price To...

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FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA -- This week, the National Rifle Association released a video with its Junior Deputy Media Liaison addressing school shootings in which he...

Kelly Sadler In Consideration To Be 2019 White House Correspondents Dinner Comedian

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The White House Correspondents Association has announced that Trump Administration staffer Kelly Sadler is on the official shortlist of people being...