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White House Correspondents’ Association Apologizes For Having Smaller Spines Than Funny Bones
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Even days after she gave it, comedian Michelle Wolf's barn burning keynote roast at this year's White House Correspondents Dinner is...
Laura Ingraham Says “U Can’t Touch This” and “La Vie En Rose” Are Her...
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Over the last few days, American conservatives have touted their new, surprising ally, rapper Kanye West.
Last week, West turned...
Jeff Sessions Says He’s Not Surprised ‘That Long Haired, Loony Liberal John Boehner’ Joined...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last week, it was announced that former Speaker of the House John Boehner would be joining the advisory board of Acreage...
In Interviews on Fox News, Sinclair, and Bill O’Reilly’s Basement Podcast, Ted Cruz Says...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This week, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg testified before both the House and Senate in an effort to quell rising calls for...
Ted Nugent Credits Clean Lifestyle, Being Total Raging Asshole For Out Living Contemporaries
SHART BRITCHES, MICHIGAN -- Aging, once-briefly-relevant rocker Ted Nugent made national headlines this week when he attacked the survivors of the Parkland, Florida school...
Roy Moore Says Elections Are ‘Like Teenage Girls,’ And Refuses To Pull Out Of...
PEDURAST, ALABAMA -- Former Alabama judge Roy Moore lost a hotly contested election earlier this month to a Democrat in his home state, and...
Nation’s Famous, Elderly, Manipulative, Mentally Unstable Psychopath Cult Leader Inventories Cut In Half Overnight
"That leaves the United States in a precarious position with just one famous, elderly, manipulative, mentally unstable psychopath to carry the load."
Jeff Sessions Starts Smoking Weed to Alleviate Stress of Russia Scandal
"This Russia shit is really getting to me, man."
Nazi Grateful for Twitter Cleaning Up Its Platform and Suspending ‘Disgusting, Anti-Antisemite Accounts’
"It was starting to feel like a Nazi had no safe space in this country."
Authorities Baffled by Appearance of Giant, Rotting, Racist Pumpkin on White House Steps
"I'd call this one a Jack-OFF-o-lantern."
